Wednesday, January 28, 2009


My brother bought me a new mobile. I was so excited, I wanted to buy a sim and call my friends right away. You should know how it’s like to be the only person without mobile in a gang. So I took my bike and drove to the mobile accessory store. I drove so fast, feeling the rush of wind in my face. I’m crazy but not crazy enough to strike a titanic pose, like MEG RYAN did in City Of Angels. I had to make some rash turns, yet I kept my pace. There’s a straight road ahead, a good 100 meters long. No stop signs! No speed limits! Ain’t nothing gonna slow me down!

Suddenly I felt like I’m defying gravity. I looked down, the road wasn’t there. My bike was dragging me like it had a life of its own. Within seconds everything blacked out. BAAM!! There I was standing outside a store with a banner saying “WE GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED.” What the hell just happened? I needed a sim so badly, I went in. There was an old man who greeted me, “What can I do for you sir?” Me, “I need a sim card.” Old man, “Sim card? This is a special store. So be careful what you buy”. He started tattling like those creepy movies. “I just need a sim card.” I bought the sim and stepped outside. I had the same feeling. Felt like I was caught in some sort of weird illusion. Everything blacked out again.

“Come on… Stop it... ”giggles. I opened my eyes, “what the!! Shoo go away!” There was this little pug licking my face. I was lying on the road with my bike few steps away and a crowd with curious looks surrounding me. I got up checked my pockets, I still had the sim. I picked up the bike and drove home. I threw myself on the bed, pulled over the sheets. I turned round and round to get into a comfy position, I felt there was something else in bed. Scared, I threw away the sheets. It was the same pug, looking at me and wagging what I suppose was his tail. I’m not dumb. I have figured it out just like you did.

I went to the bathroom, washed my face. I breathed in and out trying to relax. Then… I slapped myself hard and said, “I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT AXE DEO!!”

Saturday, January 10, 2009


  What is this buzzing sound in my head? I'm so numb, I can't feel a thing. Why is it so dark in here? My head hurts... Where am I?  Am I dead? I see a light, it slowly engulfs the whole room. It’s so bright, my eyes are nearly blinded and I turn away. I hear a voice...  Is it Saint Peter? He's here, to take me on a ride to heaven. I pray that ride better be Shelby 350. Wait!... I can move my legs...I'm so scared, I can feel my heart beating fast. I'm not dead...They kidnapped me, it comes back to me now. I remember people were carrying me. They must have added something in my drink. What happened to my friends?  I have seen this in movies. Chainsaw, far worse Hostel. A silhouette approached. Now I'm DEAD. They gonna kill me. "Go Away!!" I screamed. There was a silence. That thing whatever it was, stood there for a minute.

"What the hell where you thinking? You were so drunk last night, your friends had to carry you home. When are you going to grow up and be responsible?” My Dad. Blah, blah and more blah and then some more. It went on like it would never it end. Darkness, death, St.Peter, Shelby, Hostel with all that, what remains now is a whacky look on my face.

Now I seriously wish it have been St.Peter or that freaky guy  who slaughters people in HOSTEL…

Sunday, January 4, 2009


The only movie that has made an impact on me since Taare Zameen Par. This movie has it all. It has romance, humour and everything FULL ON!! Its good to see that kid who played Damodar in TZP.
The million dollar question isn't the last one. Its when...
Jamal - come with me.
Lathika - come with you?... where? And live on what?
Jamal - love.
Hey it got A.R. a golden globe...
Its a must see for everyone...

Dog, a man's best friend… Hell YEAH!!!

This is kinda like a sequel to the previous post. If you consider reading this, take a peek at previous one, wouldn’t take long… 

We all know about Joe deserting me at the party and Jimmy’s seasonal hormonal cravings. So, straight to the story, I was lying in the bed, pretty much upset over the way things rolled out. “Da-Da-Da - So she said what’s the problem baby…”  My cell phone rang. It was Joe. I picked it up, “Hi, Joe”. Joe on the other end, “Where the hell did you go yesterday?”  He dint even wait for a reply, he kept blurting out. “Man, it was awesome. I finally went past ‘Hi’ way past Hi… You wouldn’t believe I mustered up some courage and asked her out to a movie”. “Holy bijeezuz, what did she say? She said yes dint she?” Joe, “Well, actually no… But she said it would be cool, if we went out for a coffee sometime. We are going out; this Saturday and I could feel its going somewhere” “Atta boy Joe...” Joe, “Now tell me, where the heck were you?” “I wasn’t feeling well man. I came home and slept like a pig” with a forced giggle. I dint wanna ruin this moment.

“Hey, Justin… Where’s Jimmy?” My dad yelled almost at the top of his voice. Damn, I left that flea bag on the streets. “Hey Joe, gotto go.” Did that rhyme? Jeez this aint the time to think about that. I hung up and rushed out. Shoot me if I’m dreaming. There is this cute girl playing with Jimmy and the other dog, I told you about. I went near her, guessing by expression on my face she asked, “Is it yours?” With a goofy face“Yup.” [monologue: Come on Justin, be a sport, ask her name... Shut up]. She said, “Jimmy’s a nice dog.” “How d’you know his name?” [Monologue: Damn!! Way to go Einstein, its on his tag.She’s gonna think you are a dork]. Girl gave a laugh, “You can call me psychic, but I read that on his tag.” “Ha Ha Ha” [monologue: Why the hell am I laughing, it’s not even funny. You are making me look stupid]. 

Girl, “So you always leave Jimmy like this in the streets?” [Monologue: What the… she left her dog just like me. She has no right to ask me this, just because she thinks she got here before me. Gosh…Please don’t ask her that, Open your eyes Justin, look how cute she is. Say something…Anything… Oh my God, I make ROSS look better] Girl, “Is there a problem?” “Noo, Noooo. [forced giggle] You might think I’m stupid, when I say this[ Okay you are doing fine. Buy some time ]  We limit their places to play, sleep and all that. I think pets should at least have the freedom to poop.” Girl laughing, “Freedom to poop? You are funny”. [Monologue: Yes I’m the funny man. Dunno why people rip into laughter at the very sight of me.] “I get that sometimes.” Girl, “I’m Kate.” “Justin.” Kate, “I’ll be here in the evening around five, walking Susie. I hope I’ll see you then” I just gave a friendly smile and a okay wink… Am I cool or what? 

This is what I call a happy ending. Joe got a date. I met Kate and Jimmy got the @$%& alright… alright… Susie…