Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Not a Good Morning...

Tied them laces up. “Rising Up… Straight to the top…” Eye of the tiger by Survivors. Never fails to get me in the mood when I’m jogging. It was early around six, dint expect him to be sitting on the bench. It was kinda strange… I have always seen him flaunting his washboard abs in a tight tee which he probably bought when he was ten. He wasn’t much of an acquaintance. Apart from the fact that we live in the same apartment, all I know about him is, he could win a Ryan Philippe look alike contest any day…

I don’t like him that much. Why...? Coz I hate him. Okay this story dates long back. I had a serious crush on this girl J, from our apartment. Let’s first define crush. You have feelings deep down under for a person. You are afraid you might blow it, but wind blows, so does season… Now it’s too late, and that person has found someone else. You are crushed and you brush it off by saying it was only a crush but it still hurts somewhere inside.

He moved in like 4 years before. I have absolutely no idea what happened. J and him hooked up. Within weeks they started going out and things got worse… Just when I went past him, he called out “Hey dude… You have second?” “Me? What? Why?[monolouge - Oh Shut up!!] “Sure man…” I sat next to him. He continued “Its J”[monolouge - Don’t tell me you made her pregnant.] I clutched my fist. There’s a chance of one in a million, I could knock him down but also chances of 999999 in a million he would beat the living pulp outta me. He said, “ J dumped me…


I was thrown away …Oh dear Lord you have finally forgiven me. I was literally singing in my mind [Tats the way ah ahn ah ahn I like it ah ahn ah ahn] “What happened …?” Phew…. Like I give a damn, I was so happy, it made my day. He said, “ I don’t know… May be I’m not good enough for her.” “Whoa… Taken quite a few years to figure that out.”

Not helping bro…” I have taken it too far I guess. Man, the look on his face…. “Did She say why? May be its something you could work on.” “She said I was irresponsible, insensitive and other things I dint even understand” “Tell me something I don’t know… If Webster made a dictionary to understand Women, He would be richer than Scrooge McDuck.” He made an desperate attempt to smile “ I guess…” Now I was kinda sorry for him…

Some girls are like man eaters, And I'm not talking about the whoa-whoa, here she comes kind of man-eater. I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink”. [ Wow that’s a direct quote from Dr.Cox, I have no idea where it came from… May be the fact that I’m so addicted to SCRUBS and watch them over and over again] He was still looking down on the grass lost somewhere.

Incoming!!! Don’t panic it ain’t mortars. This must be the new girl mom was talking about. I’m tired of baby sitting this guy anyway. I called out to her, “Hey…” She stopped running, walked towards the bench. [car brakes] She was smiling at the moron sitting next to me, “Hi I’m S… I’m new here”. Just wait a minute… What the hell is happening here? I’m damn sure I was the one, who called her. What Am I? INVISIBLE…?


This guy who was almost in tears a minute ago, stood up with a bright smile, "Let me show you around".They started jogging together. Now you know why I hate this guy...


This story is supposed to be funny, so laugh anyway. Its fictional and any resemblance to people living, dead or in coma, it’s a mere coincidence. If you think its intentional, go ahead sue me…

Song I’m listening to : C21 - U are the one.

The Lord of pure pukka putrid is back in town. This story WHITE ROSE is a must read...

This is another funny story I came across OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS...


7 comments:

Vinnie said...

If Webster made a dictionary to understand Women, He would be richer than Scrooge McDuck :):)

u rock, ApocalypsE! absolutely gripping piece this one..

u might as well write a full fledged fiction..will sell like hot cross buns n Uncle Scroogy will go all quack quack, apo is richer than me :):)

ApocalypsE said...

:-) Thanks Vinnie...

Suresh Kumar said...

And if someone did write on how to understand a woman, it would be in the fiction section.

Early morning, u met with disappointment.... so sad :) but i think u must have kept jogging and meet another chick.

Yeah.... it is funny and laughed a lot... :)

ApocalypsE said...

A Book to understand women would definitely be a fiction...:-)

pollicino said...

Hello, I moved to visitt you.A greeting from Italy, Eugenio

Charmed One! said...

It was a funny one mister :) ...

Nicely written .. a very good read :) ...
i was actually humming 'Tats the way ah ahn ah ahn I like it ah ahn ah ahn' :) ...

ApocalypsE said...

Thanks pollcino for the visit from Italy:-)


@Charmed one - Glad you think of it that way...:-)